I KISSED MY CHILDHOOD GOODBYE

At 3 am this morning, there I was packing up what has been on my life in bags. Tearing shreds of used papers that before determined my grades was cathartic. Letting go of the things I have thought were valuable before made me feel lightness. Letting go of the things. Letting go.

To date, I am 20 years, 5 months and 16 days old. In an average human life, you can say that I have lived mostly the 1/4th of my life already. If you ask me, that's a pretty huge chunk of life. What's more is that I believe that the decisions I had made and will be making in the near future matters the most. For those are the decisions will determine the rest of my life.

Like most of my contemporaries, I have spent 16 years of it at institutions. Schools that taught me everything they can to get me ready for this moment. This moment when you supposedly graduate from your tertiary education, "enter" the "real" world, get a decent paying job and try survive in this complex society we put ourselves in.

In this society, in order to survive, a person must choose to join the race. Most of those who chose differently eventually only fall into two categories: the cynical or the change-maker. These people are the deviants. The brave souls who strive to pursue life not as well accumulated, but well lived.

I want to be that kind of person, the deviant. I know the stakes are high and the risks are life changing but the harder you look for a purpose in life and the more you question your existence, it brings you closer to realizations that in time made sense.

As I mature, I have realized a lot of things. I can now look back from past tragedies in retrospect. Not being sad about it anymore but just left with sentimentality. I have come to a conclusion that if I was to try to have a life well lived, I need to grow inwardly and share outwardly. Neither should I focus on the consumerist nature of the society nor to want instant gratification, like most people sadly do so.

The moment that I felt the need to want things differently and the moment my passions were awoken, I believe it was the moment I have put childish things away. Life is not a contrast of black and white anymore. I have realized that life is a spectrum of grey. Innocence forgotten.  It was the moment I kissed my childhood goodbye.

As you readers may know, I am a graphic culture enthusiast and my childhood hero is Uzumaki Naruto, a Japanese comic and anime character created by Kishimoto Masashi. Naruto's dreams, ideals, and attitude of 'never giving up' makes my heart go with him. As a kid, Naruto was the series that I admire very much.

Just this May 20, 2015 a personal life event happened. It was the verification of my prior statement. I have watched the last movie franchise of the series. The movie concluded the story. For the series, it was an 18 year journey. As a great fan, the movie concluded the whole of my childhood. For me, it was a life event that closed that chapter.

Today, my dreams and my life are still in the making. There is not much to say about what will be next. As I now open the new chapter of my life, I just hope that the best 2/4ths of my lifetime will be well spent and well lived.

Kissing my childhood goodbye does not mean that I forget my childhood. It means that I now move on from dreaming to achieving them. I hope that just like my favorite character, Naruto, I will not give up on my dreams and ideals until I finally achieve them.