Love in the 21st Century

ALTERNATIVE TITLE:

WHY I DELETED MY TINDER ACCOUNT

(image from: http://cdn.hellogiggles.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/08/20/Tinder-Logo-310x206.jpg)

    Along with free love and human rights, singlehood has become such a novel topic feasted on by my fellow millenials. You know what i'm talking about: the Thought Catalog (or Elite Daily) articles, the berlin-artparasites photos and the pun-ny posts about singlehood. We've all seen it, liked it and yes—shared it. Safe space everybody, no judging.

    At first I did not want to write about such a cliché topic, because I'd like to fantasize that i'm not part of an ongoing (still nameless) phenomenon. I refuse to be part of a statistic. But unfortunately, I am. So here I go typing along, sharing a peek from my lens because I know that someone out there carries the same heart.

    Being single has actually bothered me for quite a while and I have grown comfortable into whining about it. Especially on those special days when your whore-mones consume your very being. There's that void that sucks you in like a vaccuum and you question the validity of your loneliness, of your life choices. On other days, you do something about that monster inside. Some try to rekindle old flames, some try to venture out to new lands (iykwim) and well, there are those like me who decide to give Tinder a try.

    All that talk about 'love is just around the corner'? I don't buy that shit. I think that someone who jives with my kinda crazy is not within a 40 km radius. So with the help of Tinder my choices are expanded to 150+ km more. 

(Thanks to a friend who tried to mock me by taking a screencap)

    Let me tell you the different phases that one goes through when using Tinder for the first time:

1. You get kinda obsessive about which pictures to post on your profile (and how to post them in the first place!) The first time I installed Tinder, I couldn't sync my pictures and for a few hours, I was just a gray figure. 
   
2. The same obsession applies for writing your bio. What am I trying to say? How should I communicate that i'm actually a prude who is not into casual hook-ups and therefore negates the very purpose of Tinder? “Here for interesting conversations” Hmm. Sounds about right.
   
3.   You get on a swiping frenzy, getting all judge-y on possible matches that come your way. The diversity is surprising, I tell you. The first day I tried Tinder, I was just sitting there with my roommate (who I also influenced into installing Tinder and later on uninstalled it 2 weeks earlier than I did) swiping away....... for two hours.
   
4.  Then you get to talking with your matches. It all starts with that kilig that someone likes you too but that kilig turns into disappointment. Conversations don't flow anymore, maybe because they realized that you are indeed a true-blue Tinder prude. Then the cycle continues. (Unless you're not, then yay for you)

    It's all fun and games, isn't it? No one was getting hurt. But there was one reoccuring thought that drove me into uninstalling the app and saying goodbye to all the cute guys i've matched with.

    Who was I turning into? It was not even because of who I was becoming when I was talking to strangers (unlike other chronicles on quitting on Tinder because they had a hard time pretending). It was because I realized that I was actually eating the bullshit they feed me right out of their hands.

    See, I still have great faith when it comes to sincerity and genuine conversations. It was too disappointing to see that firsthand. I guess it was my fault too because well, it was a hook-up app and it was wrong of me to hope that someone genuine existed in that messy universe.

    So here's to you, single person who is still most probably single because you're looking for something genuine. Not true love, not the love that lasts forever. Heck, not even necessarily love. Just that sincerity and that beautiful mess of carelessness and trust.

    This is the dilemma. Because most, if not all of the individuals who comprise my generation do not think like this. My generation likes to play by the gray line—the confusing push and pull of love and lust. They kiss with a burning desire and never talk with the same lips of the mutual adoration that seems to fill the room. Or maybe i'm just too idealistic about relationships, and I won't be sorry for that.

    Am I saying that you delete your Tinder account now, too? It all depends on you. Maybe you got even more interested in making one, go ahead—you might have a different take on the whole thing. I'm writing this down, a not-so special story but one that definitely speaks of this generation. This, folks is the search for love in my century.