MONSTERATING (WHEN A GIRL IS ON HER PERIOD)

(c) Pinterest

Disclaimer: This blog entry is a heavy flow of chaotic and messed up notions of a menstruating girl. Be prepared. Anything could happen. Here we go.

*Read the underlined words in a Ghetto Accent to best enjoy this post. *Snapsfingers

(c) Pinterest

I’ve been bogging my brains out on what to write again for my blog but then I couldn’t really concentrate because well my vagina was bleeding and it hurts like seriously I can’t even. Yes it’s that time of the month when nature reminds a woman that she is not pregnant so she makes women suffer by bleeding them to death and telling them in their face “suffer ya’ prude bitch”. Why do girls bleed? Like seriously, it’s not safe to bleed this much, why am I still alive? I should be dead right now. You know guys are really lucky ‘cause y’all don’t get to bleed and you don’t get to carry the evidence of f*cking around. I know that there’s an acceptable scientific reason that backs up this incredibly depressing phenomenon but it still nags me to the bone why it could hurt this much, I know speak for a lot of girls when I say ‘never mess with a girl when she’s on her period’. 

(c) Pinterest

So how would one know when a girl is on her period without having to ask them if their vag is on a red tide? Well good news to you my friend I may be menstruating as of the moment but I am generous too. I’m going to list down some tips to find out when a girl is bleeding you ain’t wanna mess with her.

Dogs follow us around. Animals can smell blood, especially dogs. So if a girl is being chased by a dog well surprise surprise she on her period. Like seriously who let the dogs out? Lay off dogs, let us bleed in peace.

Fat/Ugly. If you hear a girl say this word once or twice it’s only natural but if she says it almost every waking moment of your life then it’s a sign brother. Do not mess with her because she is at her most insecure and vulnerable state. Whenever a girl blurts out or asks you “I’m so fat” or “Why am I soooo UGLY??” just retreat like evacuate right now.

Not Swimming. Especially on the beach. We will attract sharks. And lots of ‘em. So if you invite a girl for a swim and then you find yourself surrounded with a bunch of sharks, don’t say I didn’t warn you.

Icecream. If she is constantly craving or already knee deep in several pints of her favorite icecream well that’s a sure sign already. It’s like a welcoming mat that says “Hello I am on my period don’t show yourself for the whole week, thank you and good bye”. 

Tears. When a girl busts a weep for no apparent reason well b*tch is on her period. Girls tend to get more emotional during their red days sometimes it’s probably because it hurts but most of the time there aren’t any reasons. Can’t a girl weep?

When we’re monstrating uh I mean menstruating it’s best to leave us alone. That’s All.